Council Data Governance

Council Data Governance

Jun 22, 2011 by in Data Governance

As I commented on the recent blog post Embrace Disruption, Governance Soldier! by Jill Dyché, her data governance program encouragement to “unsheath your dagger, soldier, for there is work to do” brought to mind the lyrics “they stab it with their steely knives, but they just can’t kill the beast” from the great Eagles song Hotel California.

I joked Hotel Data Governance might have to be an upcoming blog post.  Well, I guess that I was only half joking.  The actual blog post turned out to be Council Data Governance — and it’s about the common mistake of convening a council too early when starting a new data governance program.

Now, of course, data governance is a very important and serious subject.  And some people might question whether or not music is the best way to discuss a very important and serious subject.

Although I understand that skepticism, I can’t help but recall the words of Frank Zappa:

“Information is not knowledge;

Knowledge is not wisdom;

Wisdom is not truth;

Truth is not beauty;

Beauty is not love;

Love is not music;

Music is the best.”

Council Data Governance

Down a dark deserted hallway, I walked with despair
As the warm smell of bagels rose up through the air
Up ahead in the distance, I saw a shimmering light
My head grew heavy and my sight grew dim
I had to attend another data governance council meeting
As I stood in the doorway
I heard the clang of the meeting bell

And I was thinking to myself
This couldn’t be heaven, but this could be hell
As stakeholders argued about the data governance way
There were voices down the corridor
I thought I heard them say . . .

Welcome to the Council Data Governance
Such a dreadful place (such a dreadful place)
Time crawls along at such a dreadful pace
Plenty of arguing at the Council Data Governance
Any time of year (any time of year)
You can hear stakeholders arguing there

Their agendas are totally twisted, with means to their own end
They use lots of pretty, pretty words, which I don’t comprehend
How they dance around the complex issues with sweet sounding threats
Some speak softly with remorse, some speak loudly without regrets

So I cried out to the stakeholders
Can we please reach consensus on the need for collaboration?
They said, we haven’t had that spirit here since nineteen ninety nine
And still those voices they’re calling from far away
Wake you up in the middle of this endless meeting
Just to hear them say . . .

Welcome to the Council Data Governance
Such a dreadful place (such a dreadful place)
Time crawls along at such a dreadful pace
They argue about everything at the Council Data Governance
And it’s no surprise (it’s no surprise)
To hear defending the status quo alibis

Bars on all of the windows
Rambling arguments, anything but concise
We are all just prisoners here
Of our own device
In the data governance council chambers
The bickering will never cease
They stab it with their steely knives
But they just can’t kill the beast

Last thing I remember, I was
Running for the door
I had to find the passage back
To the place I was before
Relax, said the stakeholders
We have been programmed by bureaucracy to believe
You can leave the council meeting any time you like
But success with data governance, you will never achieve!

Read this Jim Harris blog post inspired
by the lyrics of Rush: Data Quality is
such a Rush.

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15 Responses to “Council Data Governance”

  1. Jill Dyche

    Jun 22, 2011

    Okay, Jim, I could NOT hold back after singing your version. So on the same theme, here’s my rendition of the Eagle’s “Take It Easy”:

    Well I was debugging my code
    Tryin’ to do a data load
    I had several tables in my queue:
    Four of them relational
    Two were recreational
    One was just a column or two.

    Take it eeeaaasy,
    Take it eeeaaasy.
    Don’t let the sound of your end-users
    Drive ya craaaazzy.
    C’mon baby.
    Don’t say maybe.
    I wanna know that data profiling’s gonna
    SAAAAVE ME!

    Ooooohhh, Oooohh….

    (Sincere apologies to Glenn Frey.)

    Jill

    Reply to this comment

    • Jim Harris

      Jun 22, 2011

      Thanks for your great comment (and blog post inspiration), Jill.

      Well, I’m a standing on a corner
      In the Enterprise Data Management Marketplace
      It’s such a fine sight to see
      So many different options for Data Quality

      Come on, executive baby, don’t say maybe
      I gotta know if you believe our sweet data asset is
      Gonna save us
      We may lose and we may win though
      We will never be here again
      So open up your budget, I’m climbing in,
      So take it easy . . .

      Oh we got it easy
      We oughta take it easy, yeah . . .

      :-)

      Reply to this comment

  2. Steve Sarsfield

    Jun 22, 2011

    There’s an album in this. When you have someone who doesn’t want to share their data…

    Sung to the tune of Desperado

    Data Steward, why don’t you come to your senses?
    You been out controlling data for so long now
    Oh, you’re a hard one
    I know that you got your reasons
    This data that are pleasin’ you
    Can hurt you somehow…

    Reply to this comment

    • Jim Harris

      Jun 22, 2011

      Thanks for your great comment, Steve.

      And yes, I agree that there’s an album here . . .

      Data Steward,
      Oh your data ain’t getting no younger
      Its defect pains and its data quality hunger
      Well that’s not just some people talking
      Your data’s a prison walking
      Through this world alone

      Data Steward,
      Why don’t you come to your senses?
      Come down from your fences, open your data silo gate
      You better let somebody help you improve your data
      Before it’s too late

      :-)

      Reply to this comment

  3. Paige Roberts

    Jun 22, 2011

    As an Eagles fan, I’m not sure if I feel inspired or horrified, but I’m definitely impressed.

    Awesome post, and love Jill and Steve’s additions.

    You’re a data quality desperado, just the thing for a desperate CTO. Your blogging isn’t just wasted time. You give us the best of your love and soon we’ll find our dirty laundry and data quality problems are already gone. One of these nights, you’ll get a peaceful easy feeling and you can take some time off at the Hotel California, maybe meet a witchy woman with lyin’ eyes. Just don’t spend too much time in the fast lane. In the long run those tequila sunrises really catch up to you.

    Paige

    Reply to this comment

    • Jim Harris

      Jun 22, 2011

      Thanks for your great comment, Paige.

      I appreciate both the kind words and the excellent additional Eagles references :-)

      Best Regards,

      Jim

      Reply to this comment

  4. Jill Dyche

    Jun 23, 2011

    With a shout-out to guru-in-his-own-right, Steve Sarsfield, I give you The Bridge:

    …
    Don’t ya call all your end-users, boy,
    They won’t come to the table.
    The CIO is always your best bet.
    Since it seems to me his budget
    Can your data hub enable,
    And always wants a new toy in his chest….est…

    Desperado. Why don’t you come to your senses?
    Come down from your senseless
    Quest for the cure.
    I may be heartless, oh, but
    I’ve been there before you.
    And I’m sorry to bore you,
    But it’s all infrastructure.

    (Sorry, Don Henley.)

    Jill

    Reply to this comment

    • Jim Harris

      Jun 23, 2011

      Even Glenn Frey and Don Henley would have to admit:

      You Rock, Jill!

      :-)

      Reply to this comment

  5. Mark Horseman

    Jun 23, 2011

    You guys are literally Data Quality Rock Stars.

    Reply to this comment

  6. Steve Sarsfield

    Jun 23, 2011

    Just don’t ask me to sing it without an auto-tune.

    Reply to this comment

    • Jim Harris

      Jun 23, 2011

      No worries Steve, since I am pretty sure that we would all need an auto-tune for singing :-)

      And we would also need a special version of Guitar Hero customized for Data Rock Stars.

      Rock on, Data Heroes, Rock on!

      Reply to this comment

  7. Paige Roberts

    Jun 23, 2011

    I’ve had Eagles filk running through my brain for two days now, thanks to you guys. Fine. I gave in and made one, too, but it turned into a disgruntled IT guy song instead of a data council meetingboy lament.

    Already Gone

    Well, I heard some people talkin’ just the other day
    And they said we should put our old server on a shelf
    But let me tell you I got some news for you
    And you’ll soon find out it’s true
    And then you’ll have to work all night all by yourself
    ‘Cause the data’s already gone
    And I’m feelin’ wrong
    I will sing this unhappy song, woo, hoo,hoo,woo,hoo,hoo

    The letter that my boss wrote me made me stop and wonder why
    But I guess he felt like he had to set things right
    Just remember this, my boss, when you look for a new IT guy
    He can be a top notch hire and still not set things right (that’s right)

    B’cause the data’s already gone
    And I’m feelin’ strong
    I will sing this vict’ry song, woo, hoo,hoo,woo, hoo,hoo

    Well I know it wasn’t you who hired me on
    Heaven knows it WAS you who set me free
    So often times it happens that we live our lives in chains
    And we never even know we have the Delete key

    But me, I’m already gone
    And I’m feelin’ strong
    I will sing this vict’ry song
    ‘Cause I’m already gone
    And the data’s already gone
    And I’m feelin’ strong
    That’s right.
    Next time you’ll approve the backup budget.
    Nighty night.

    Reply to this comment

  8. Steve Sarsfield

    Jun 23, 2011

    Nice Paige! Yep, we have an album.

    Reply to this comment

    • Jim Harris

      Jun 23, 2011

      I agree Steve – Paige did an awesome job writing “Already Gone” and I think that we definitely have ourselves at least one album now!

      The Data Governance Eagles are going to have start scheduling a Data Rock Star World Tour!

      :-)

      Reply to this comment

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